Lets face it, we have all been hurt at some point in our life and it really sucked.
It wasn’t really till this past year that I believed I’ve really been healed from the hurts in my past. From the moment I chose Jesus Christ as my Savior, I would say 2 or 3 times a month something will come up that is a direct result from my past and that God wanted to heal it. Out of those 2 or 3 times a month, I would say 75% of the time it’s a bad habit/sin that I’m doing that God puts on my heart to change.
For example, I really struggle with the idea of failure. I often find myself pretending to be someone I’m not in order to make myself feel better. One time I got a medical school license plate frame for my car and I’m not even in medical school lol! I’m totally embarrassed to say it but we put on so many masks each day and the only mask we should really put on is God’s mask.
Another time my mother and I were talking over the phone about school. She made a comment about my cousin whose in law school and finishing up, he’s only a year older than me and she mentions him every now and again. I sometimes wonder to myself if she’s taking aim at me and emphasizing the fact that I took 3 years off of college and I need to do something with my life.
However, I started to realize that her comment could have been completely innocent and I was becoming defensive because I was afraid she thought I was a failure. Obviously, the hurts are probably not the worst things in the world but they’re not innocent in God’s eyes. I found myself become prideful because I would actually convince myself that I’m a better person since I wanted to be a doctor and I would justify that by saying to myself I had a high g.p.a. It’s pathetic, I would have thoughts in my head like, “Oh what does he or she know, I’m smarter than them.” I would also try and be the best in my class hoping everyone else would fail while I did well.
What God made me realize is a couple of things: 1) I’m nothing without him but I can do anything with him, 2) I needed to encourage and help my fellow classmates and to get help from them as well, 3) God wants nothing to do with people who are prideful. Now I don’t think God means he won’t love you despite your pride but I know he distances himself from people who are prideful and it’s much harder for God to work then.
I wanted to show you how something which may seem so small and innocent (hurt) in comparison to the world could turn into something much bigger and destructive. That is why every sin in God’s eyes is punishable by death and he completely hates it. Once we start to see things from his eyes, the sin in our life becomes that much more evil.
There are two kinds of hurts: ones that show themselves and are very obvious and the ones that are silent and can often go unnoticed. For myself, I have always been the type who pushed everything so deep that the silent warning signs that I was desperately hurt would go unnoticed, most times. I also have another defense mechanism in place to mask those hurts, I would try and separate myself from people so I didn’t become too close to them.
In all honesty, I’m still working on this area of my life with God. It’s been difficult since my past has always seemed to send the same message that I’m a failure. I’ve had to rely on God’s promises that I’m not and it’s taken courage and God’s strength to breakdown the barriers that I’ve put up. I’ve accepted what happened in the past and I’ve forgiven all those people who hurt me simply because of what Jesus Christ did for all of us.
Right now is where God is changing all of those bad habits that are destructive to both myself and others and a lot of them I didn’t even know I was doing. The most important thing in the first step of healing is to find someone you can trust and talk about your past. In my experience, this was one of the hardest steps to do but God encourages us to do so in scripture and I can see why. My girfriend is a strong christian and we really got to the core of a lot of issues. My pastor described it as an onion, peeling layer by layer.
How can you move past the hurts in your life?
1. If your not a follower of God it’s going to be that much harder, and in my opinion, impossible without God. Accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior and I promise it’s worth it!
2. Find someone who is a strong christian and you can trust, then find a time to talk with them about your past hurts throughout the week. (Like I said before, this was the hardest step and my pastor and my girl friend were the two people I did this with).
3. Pray and read what God says in the bible specifically related to your hurts.
4. Fill your life up with Godly things so that you don’t revert back to your old habits.
When you magnify God everything else becomes small and possible. You can change right now, it’s not going to be easy but it is possible with God by your side. I promise you he’ll be there with you smiling and encouraging you every step of the way.
“But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!” -John 15:7
What do you think are some effective ways to heal from past hurts? What are some things you have been hurt by? How did you cope with them? Leave your comments below!