The 5 Dangers Of Sexual Sin

sexual sin

Before I go into the dangers of sexual sin, its important to define what exactly it is because its not always clear. Here are some of the most common questions I get regarding this topic.

“Is masturbation by yourself a sin?”

“Is pornography a sin if both partners agree to it?”

“Is flirting a sin if your single?”

God has a lot to say about sexual sin, specifically in Corinthians and Ephesians.

However, I think 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 gives us the most comprehensive description regarding sexual sin.

“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.”

The best answer I can give you regarding sexual sin is to really examine your own heart and the motives behind it. If you’re wondering if its okay, it probably isn’t.

Instead of looking for what you can and can’t do regarding sexual sin, ask yourself,

“Does this help my relationship with God?” or “Will this benefit me as a Christian?”

These are much more important questions to ask yourself when addressing sin of any kind, including sexual sin.

Here are 5 dangers of sexual sin:

1. The Potential For Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is just one form of sexual sin but its also becoming much more common as proof by its 97 billion dollar profits it posted in 2006 (http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com).

According to a literature review article from the Journal of Surgical Neurology, Hypersexual Disorder (aka Porn addiction) will be in the new DSM-5 manual (Hilton and Watts, 2011).

They also highlight some important points that I’ll summarize here:

1) Pornography has been shown to damage the bond between romantic partners (pair bonding).

Counter argument: Some people have messaged me citing a recent UCLA and Concordia study that implies that pornography increases arousal and therefore can improve sexuality between partners for those who might have a low sex drive.

Its important to understand a few problems here, one is the sample size they used (n=280) which consisted entirely of males on a self-reported measure. The other problem is that just because arousal was increased in men doesn’t necessarily imply that this increase will result in an improvement in the bedroom.

Increases in arousal and increases in relationship quality are two different measures. While entirely speculative, what do you think the male or female partner is thinking about when sexual aroused through pornography first?

2) There is a strong correlation (85%) between those who watch child pornography and those who engage in it.

Counter argument: Child pornography users and  ‘regular’ pornography users are two very different types of users.

A literature review on the effects of pornography by the Family Research Council found that child pornography users tended to be regular users of pornography regardless of the type of pornography.

3) Pornography induces violent attitudes toward women.

Counter argument: “I haven’t seen this to be true.” While anecdotal evidence can be of some value, it doesn’t carry the same weight as a scientific study.

4) The objective evidence that supports the notion that pornography is harmful has been suppressed by the media.

2. Your Playing With Fire

I’m sure you’ve heard this statement before and how seemingly innocent play can turn into outright affairs. Have you ever thought about how this actually works though from a biological and psychological standpoint?

Let me explain.

We all have a natural desire for physical and emotional arousal. When you’re in a heightened sense of arousal, a natural product of that is that you lose some control and your thinking becomes more driven on fulfilling the arousal (maintenance) and gaining more of the arousal (stimulation).

Sexual sin in the form of pornography involves initiating this arousal system through methods that often result in actions that hurt ourselves (porn addiction, sexual sin against self) or our relationships (God, our husband or wife).

This makes us particularly susceptible to sexual sin because it acts on our natural arousal system.You can begin to understand why infidelity and porn are so prevalent in our society now.

You will often hear someone who engaged in an affair as saying things like, “We just go caught up in the moment or It just happened all of a sudden.”

While that might be an accurate description for that moment, the actual affair began a long time ago usually with some sort of initiation by one or both parties. Remember, once our natural arousal is peaked, even slightly, it has the potential for us to seek it out more.

Maybe that is why God continually warns us about sexual temptation and the best ways to combat it is by fleeing.

3. Emptiness

Countless people hope to find happiness in sexual sin, but instead of being fulfilled, they only wind up empty. Why is that?

The main reason is because pleasure in itself is temporary. Pleasure requires your continual attention, devotion, and effort in order to sustain it.

True joy on the other hand comes from God and therefore allows us to receive it eternally and without any of our effort.

4. Self-Destruction

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Sexual sin may seem like a good idea at first, but it will tear you down from the inside out.

Its pretty clear in the Bible that sexual sin is the only sin in the Bible that results in us sinning against our own body.

You probably by now understand the countless ways we do this but check out my last point to understand what the most severe consequence of sexual sin is.

5. Separation From God

Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” God has instructed us to stay away from sexual sin, and when we disobey him, we reject him.

Perhaps the saddest consequence of sexual sin is that it pulls us further and further away from our loving Father. We need to realize just how dangerous sexual sin is and take precautions to do everything we can to avoid it.

If you’re interested in the latest scientific studies regarding porn such as how it changes your brain, check out this article here.

What form of sexual sin do you struggle in your life? 

Blessings,

Peter

Comments

34 Comments

  • PRINCE SOLAGBADE ARAOYE. says:

    Absolutely correct. May God deliver me from my sexual sins.

  • Radha Jogdev says:

    Nice article.

  • R says:

    Is masturbation with your hubby a sin?

    • HealingfromGod HealingfromGod says:

      Hi Robyn,

      Do you mean both of you doing it together? If that is the case then I see nothing scripturally that would prohibit it.

  • micbams says:

    Great write up. Keep it up.

  • Regina gikonyo says:

    Yeah I enjoyed this article very much. Most Christians like me struggle with flirting. Please help us on the way to go about it.

  • Rajiv paul says:

    Ya its article is full of information how to avoid sexual bad habits, i really enjoyed it

  • philomena fitzpatrick says:

    It is important for the woman to let her husband know of any fantasy’s because it is ok to think about pleasing and pleasure as long as it is shared with and supervised by you’re loving husband. If a woman keeps it in the form of how she can turn him on regularly so they desire each other troughout the day and sexual sin would scare her because she and he are on the same page so he could let her know if she is wrong and why!

  • Robin says:

    I watch pornography even when I don’t feel like watching. I was thinking watching porn movies and masturbation is better instead having sex with women and spoiling another life… I love masterbating alot… I can’t stop even after knowing and reading a lot of advice from leaders.

  • Thanks for sharing. As a Sunday school teacher of older single adults, I see much of this in the church today.

    Blessings and Grace

    • HealingfromGod HealingfromGod says:

      Hi Russell,

      Thats wonderful that you are a sunday school teacher. Based on your experience, have you found any resources or things that have been helpful in addressing this issue among our youth?

      Blessings,

      Peter

  • Maria says:

    Great insight!
    When you flirt,you are expecting the other to fill a need (a hole) in you.
    Ask the Lord to show you the root of that hole so He can heal it.
    When He does the struggle is over. The Lord healed me like that of a food addiction of 40 years.
    Blessings!

  • Darlene says:

    My husband is a womanizer, he has done done things in our marriage we have worked thru and ive forgiven.
    He has a constant battle with pornography, he finds some way to look at it and hide it from me, promises to stop, and does it again n again. It breaks my heart, and makes me feel less than in every way. We’ve been married 25 years this year. My heart hurts bad over this, especially when it’s denied eye to eye.
    what should or could I do.
    He even goes as far as looking at woman in sexy yoga clothing.

    • Peter Peter says:

      Hi Darlene,

      Has he ever done any professional counseling? There are resources available for those who struggle with this although porn addiction is still not recognized in the new DSM-5. I think a lot of people still view pornography as ‘innocent’ because of a few things:

      1) Its not talked about much, pornography is typically done in private and people think it should remain that way.

      2) Research into pornography is still new, as more and more evidence comes out that supports the theory that pornography is harmful it might gain more attention and seriousness towards taking action on it.

      3) The effects of pornography are not quite as distinct as other diseases. Smoking is very clear cut, the effects are obvious. Alcohol addiction, you get the same thing. The areas of pornography that have been studied have more to deal with relationships and mental illness, which in its own right (mental illness) remains sort of a taboo subject.

      Speaking from own personal experiences, I can say that what helped me the most was really a realization (which occurred through lots of prayer) that pornography was harming myself more than anything (sounds selfish I know). I noticed I wasn’t as social, had more anxiety, my sexual drive was gone, etc.

      Once I realized the impact it was having on me it was much easier to change. It took me many years though to come to this point though.

      Peter

  • Michael says:

    Hi Peter
    I struggle with porn for many years now, it’s true it affects my marriage, my life and my relationship with God.
    Please pray for me to rid myself of this horrible addiction.
    Why is porn so free and accessible nowadays?

    • Peter Peter says:

      Hi Michael,

      I think its so pervasive mainly because it sells, sex sells and porn is a billion dollar business. I do believe that as more and more scientific research is done on porn and shows the negative effects it has not only in terms of addiction but also on relationships that eventually it might be seen in a negative light and more changes might occur.

      In terms of your marriage and your personal battle with this, I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I’ve wrote extensively on porn in a few different articles so feel free to check them out if you haven’t already and in the articles I link to several resources. Praying for you Michael, feel free to contact me anytime!

      Peter

  • Rabi Adebisi says:

    Nice article am really bless by it am from Nigeria have always love to know GOD more this had help me a lot thank you and God bless you

  • Anonymous says:

    You could perhaps write an article on how to quit pornography. You write that its difficult, and I know it to be true from past experience.
    So you could write an article on how to quit?

  • Phelin says:

    Thus a great write up. Sexual sin is one of the most commonest among the youths this days but I think articles like this will help resolve the problem thank you so much man of God

  • Gabe says:

    Whoever is addicted needs deliverance and Godly counsel.

  • nothing left to give says:

    Please pray for me. I gave up on God and gave into gross sexual sins with men. I had lost all hope for myself and literally let them do whatever they wanted to me because I was so damaged-so far gone and depressed. I fell into these relationships because I felt so far from God. I have done wrong from my early youth after I lost my virginity. I had done so much, I was ruined. It has been like a drug addicts use-abusive situation, that once started I did not know how to end. No self control/accountability, just depression and suicidal ideation/hopelessness. I’ve fought this addiction/weakness my entire life and attempted suicide. I was never happy and always crying after. I gave up on salvation and a witness for Christ long ago. I am a very sinful person. Please pray for my adult child who grew up angry and with many issues because of me. I’ve asked for forgiveness. I hope she can forgive me and God too. I was hopeless and garbage. That’s why I let men use me and do deplorable things. I am useless trash, what difference does/did it make anymore? My life was wasted.

    • Anonymous says:

      Though you may have given up on God, He has not given up on you. There is a story in the Bible about a couple named Gomer and Hosea. It is a beautiful illustration of God’s unstoppable unrelenting love. If you confess your sins to God He is faithful and just to forgive and will cleanse you 1 John 1:9. Jesus does not condemn you but says to go and sin no more. I pray for restoration of your mind and hope! That you may find life in Him.

  • Anonymous says:

    Thanks Peter Iav today bn instructionsD by God to speak a bout sexual sin in the church and
    God has healed families

  • Anonymous says:

    Porn is clearly work from satan and his dmeons!

  • Anonymous says:

    Porn stars are the lowest form of scum, they have no morals, no shame, are proud of their sins and they are obviously all just pièces of shit!

  • Anonymous says:

    Well said anonymous! so true! they don’t care that what they do is wrong! all they care about is making lots of money and having pleasure and at the same time many of them are hypocrites! talking against female and male homosexuality, when they should look at their own sins! being whores and manwhores as they are!!

  • Eze says:

    Its a wonderful teaching, I’m a Paator and my wife has left me for the past 5 years ago
    But I’m really involving in masturbation and romance in many occasions, I pray for God mercy to bale me out .
    thanks man of God

    • Anonymous says:

      Eze,
      James 1:14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. We are to be doers of the word, not only hearers, meaning it takes action on our part. Ask God for wisdom of what arouses the temptation and what you are trying to fill, and then flee from those things ie, books, movies, internet, acquaintances, etc. If you starve something (sin) long enough it will die. His mercies are new everyday!! Continue the good fight and keep your eyes on the author and perfector of your faith.

  • Pastor Ezekiel Akande says:

    I’m really impressed with this message
    May God increase you sir

  • Joseph .M says:

    Dis article wil help so much 4 spiritual growth. By God’s grace I’II adjust n fit in. Thanks so much.

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