Who you spend the rest of your life with is probably one of, if not the biggest decisions you will ever make in your lifetime. Here are some quick tips to help you in your search for a Godly partner.
1. Are they a Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14)?
This is probably the #1 question you should be asking or looking for in a future marriage partner. In this passage of scripture, God specifically warns us against marrying someone who isn’t a Christian even with the hopes that they will one day turn to Christ. Statistically, the outlook is typically very poor when it comes to marriages that involve people of different faiths or religions.
2. Do they display Christ like qualities?
This second question sort of is based on the first question. The next thing you should be looking for is evidence that they truly have a relationship with God and are obedient in their faith. This doesn’t mean you look for every single fault because we know that we are all sinners, however, you should be diligent in looking for things such as: Do they attend church regularly, do they spend time in prayer, do they read scripture, all of these things are good indicators that they have a relationship with Christ.
Keep in mind, in order to see evidence of these qualities in another person it typically takes time. That is why it’s important to be patient in looking for a marriage partner and allowing God to work in your life on his timetable!
3. Do they help you become a better person in Christ?
This question usually doesn’t come up till later on in a relationship after you’ve had a chance to really observe and get to know the person. You need to be honest with yourself and and ask if that person is actually helping you grow in your faith, helping you to have a deeper relationship with God, and ultimately, making you a better person in Christ. If you find yourself sinning more, doing things that make you uncomfortable, and finding yourself in situations that compromise your faith, you might want to consider moving on.
4. What is their background like?
A person’s background is often, but not always, a good predictor of future behavior. It is important to ask and get a good idea of what the person’s background is like. Did they come from a Christian home? What do their parents do? How did their parents raise him or her? Who are their friends? Are they a good influence? Did they go through any traumatic events? Do they have a history of violence, addictions, etc.
Keep in mind, a person’s background is not a direct cause and effect relationship, its merely correlational. I came from a very unstable background and my wife knew that beforehand. It took several years of dating for me to finally open up about my real past and how it had been affecting me in the present.
This allowed my wife to make her own decision regarding whether or not she wanted to support me in getting the necessary counseling and help I needed.
That was a decision that she had to make with God’s help and I’m blessed that she said yes!
So be honest with each other and get a good idea of what the person’s background is like before you decide to marry.
5. Are they a good communicator?
Communication is crucial to any relationship and will no doubt play an important role in the success of your own marriage. As you settle down in your careers, possibly have a family, and carry more responsibilities, communication will be crucial. Furthermore, one of the most commonly reported problems in marriages have to do with communication problems. Find someone who is open and willing to communicate with you, they don’t have to be the best communicator in the world but they must be willing.
Marriage is a huge decision and its important that you find someone who not only loves you completely but also loves the Lord.
What are some key things you think all couples should look for in a future partner?