Dealing With Emotions Part Two

Dealing With Emotions

Welcome back to Part 2 of the Series – Dealing With Emotions! Today we will get into the importance of emotions in your own life, specifically, in emotional healing.

From the time it takes me to get from my home to the grocery store, I will have passed 3 starbucks including the starbucks that is in the grocery store! Boy have times changed! We live in a very hectic and fast pace society that tells us to be moving….all the time.

Their is no time to sit and have a deep and meaningful conversation with your spouse because the children need to be taken care of, their is no time to really dig deep into God’s word because you have to meet a deadline at work, their is no time to really ‘feel’ your emotions because you have a test to study for.

Emotions are interesting, I was told by my family therapist who also counsels pastors that emotions are God given.

The reason we have emotions is because it not only allows us to experience life more but it also allows God to use those emotions to move us in the direction He wants us to be at.

The first time I heard that I was stunned!

We all grow up hearing about the basic emotions of love, hate, sadness, etc. But it wasn’t until I actually sat with a christian therapist that I realized I didn’t quite understand my own emotions.

For example, I used to describe my adoption as abandonment by my biological mother. When I was asked how I felt about that event, I even said, I feel like I was abandoned.

I didn’t even recognize that what I was describing was not my emotion but my own perception of the event. It wasn’t until my Christian therapist and I dug a little deeper that I found that I felt 2 basic emotions, fear and sadness.

If you read  Part 1 of the series you might remember that sadness tells us that something important has been lost and fear is an emotion that threatens our well being either physically or emotionally.

Unfortunately, I experienced these 2 emotions more often than I wanted. When my parents divorced twice I again felt the same 2 emotions.

Because these traumatic events happened at an early age, their was no way for me to even express these emotions without losing my sanity. So I did what most children do when they experience a traumatic event, they repress the emotions.

Over time, those repressed emotions continue to bubble up as we try our best to keep them repressed. Since these emotions don’t ‘feel good’ whatsoever we continue to try and repress them or cope with them in different ways, often unhealthy ways (pornography, alcoholism, drugs, addiction, approval from others, approval from society, etc.). Their really are a million ways people repress and cope with emotions!

For me, as an adult, I would still continue to experience these emotions unless I really began to sit and allow those emotions to be expressed. That is why it is so important if your reading this that you understand the importance of emotions, to allow them to express themselves, so you can move on.

In a world so broken their isn’t a single person here who hasn’t been hurt by someone important in their lives. This often happens at an early age and we then grow up doing all sorts of behaviors that hurt ourselves and others, and then we wonder why we are doing it and why we can’t stop.

You have to trust yourself before you can trust God. If you can’t even trust yourself than how can you begin to trust God.

I encourage those of you who are reading this to find someone who you can trust, who will provide a supportive environment where you can express your emotions, so that you can begin to heal from the hurts of your past.

Remember, God gave us these emotions for a reason and often times when its sadness or fear that we are dealing with, he’s using those so we can heal from the past, forgive, and live in the present.

 How do you handle your emotions? Do you think emotions are gender specific? 







  • Sue says:

    Dear Peter, so glad to have found your realistic articles. While i understand that expressing anger is sin, way too many pulpiteers out there are telling their congregations to basically stifle it – and smile. In other words , the pulpiteers are telling us to lie. Anyway, thank you again, for getting the truth out on the net for hurting people to read – and to work through what’s bugging them.

    • Peter says:

      Hi Sue,

      I don’t think expressing anger is a sin but depends on obviously on how you express it. The act of allowing yourself to feel anger or any emotion though is important and how we choose to vent some of these emotions is equally important. Do we go out and take it all out on a loved one because we are upset or do we go for a jog. I think if I had to sum up what I was trying to say in the article I would say, ’emotions are not a bad thing but there is wisdom in how we choose to express them.’

      Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful New Years!

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